Emo-ness

Yes, I am a brat. I've spent a majority of this vacation shopping. And in the process of being in the brightly lit fake lights I've been distracted. Distracted from the culture, the people and the events around me that I know I need to face.

This morning I woke up fairly moody. Yesterday I had a good two hours during my mani/pedi to quiet down and think about everything. Usually when I arrive in Manila I'm faced with the mental & emotional conflict due to the extreme culture shift from Vancouver. And this time around I know I have tried to distract myself as the last time I was in Manila two years ago my Lolas and my cousin were still alive. I haven't let myself stop to really reflect because being the emotional sop that I am I would probably be in tears for the whole day. But this morning I woke up and I missed my Lola.

Before I get carried away with my emotions, my travel pack and I were brought to lunch at Pepper Lunch at Alabang Town Centre where I had these yummy salmon steaks on a sizzling plate. And then for dinner we ate at Max's Restaurant with my brother's godfather. There was so much food I didn't take photos. Yesterday was a very bad eating day - that may be why I woke up emotional today.

Spring Cleaning

Although the weather was so nice and warm a couple weeks back, I'm pretty sure mother nature is trying to let us know that it is in fact still spring in Vancouver. Or maybe she decided to play a clever little trick on us with that spout of warmth. Either way, I still consider it spring time and all you have to do is walk outside to realize that I am right.

Anyways, along with spring comes blooming flowers, bright cherry blossoms, an unpredictable amount of precipitation (which we should all really be used to by now) aaaand the constantly postponed room cleaning. I completed that these past weeks, yes it took so much time and it still isn't even at 100% of what I'd like it to look like. Years and years hoarding academic literature, notes, random pieces of clothing have been dumped and discarded. While the arrangement of my room is different and the look of it still somewhat the same in terms of color and furniture, the decluteration (ha, i'm making new words left, right and centre) of the space makes it feel like I'm starting fresh. By starting fresh, I refer to my life and everything within it.

Being jobless is technically not a good way to start (except I'm not really jobless, just wanting more hours--money) but it's still a beginning to something new. A new phase of my life that I would like to call ... what should I call it? .. I'm not a fan of labelling but I am. I will call this the post post secondary pre-career phase. I'm tempted to draw out a nice little bar and shade in a section before the middle but this blogspot host does not allow for graphics (unfortunately for you).

Back to spring cleaning and new life phase (etc), I feel as if I have new or different emotions, goals, maybe even a new personality? Maybe not new, maybe just a bit more pronounced? All this blabbing certainly isn't new, however, my ability to overlook and leave behind the disappointment, failed expectations and drama is a different feeling. Not that I've ever been one to be dramatic but I guess I did have expectations and I was disappointed and honestly, yes I was and am slightly hurt. But like the spring cleaning I've been doing in my room I've been learning more and more to let go and focus more on the better things in life: real friends, random adventures and yummy food =) (photos are of a cute tiny apple from Planet Organic and a surprisingly yummy thai chicken salad from the Foggy Dew)